Please just let me use “he” and “him” as pronouns denoting a male or female “lover”. No gender biases intended. I am just lazy as hell.
We all know love is good. It’s the opium of humanity. It’s what sets us apart from animals and mentally-ill people.
But sometimes, love becomes the very thing we ought to detest. Yeah, I’m pretty sure every single person has loved and lost. Sometimes, more than others.
Yeah, yeah, you get it. Love becomes painful when there are some things that wouldn’t work and could not possibly. Never.
Have you felt like being the only one who is trying to make the relationship work? Have you felt as though he was only playing with you? Have you fallen hard in love only to know that he has somebody else? I could go on forever, but I’m pretty sure that would only upset your emotional stability (and possibly make you tumble into the clutches of insanity, but it’s highly unlikely).
Love, they say, is like a rubber band held between two fingers. When it is stretched far enough, and the other one breaks free, you would feel the pain. The pain you thought you would never feel.
Because it all started in a bliss right? Like a fairy tale has come to life and you’re actually living the dream. You’ve finally found the love of your life, your “forever”, but all was well until you’ve learned the truth.
Plot twist: He doesn’t really like you. Period. And fairy tales never turn to reality. Never.
But this would be a lot more painful if you miserably did one thing: You expected him to like you.
And of course, the pitiful humans that we are, we became the dogs chasing our own tails. We chased the dream that was never really there. We chased the love that was never really there.
Oh, how lovely the coaster ride was. He was charming, you were flirting. And you fell for the trap you both set up. He showed you his “love” and made you feel like the most important person in the world.
And you, thanks to your naivety, fell for him. You believed (I’m reiterating so you get the sick point) that he loved you.
Oh, I have one more knife to stick into your bleeding heart. Have you done something more miserable than expecting? Like, you actually believed he fell for you?
Oh no, I’m sure you didn’t. Wait, you did? Well, may the odds be ever in your favor. Because not only did you fall for the trap, you actually blinded yourself from the fact that it was all a trap covered in cotton.
O how I just love humans. The feeling is much worse when you blinded yourself long enough for you to fail to recover. Like you’ve actually been in a relationship, when actually there was none.
And so your heart broke into a million bits and pieces because of your own doing.
Oh, I actually realized there was something which would make you maddeningly miserable: Seeing him with someone else while you held desperately to the hope that he loved you.
Dude, seriously, that’s just plain stupid. But I can’t blame you. Everyone who has fallen in love had been blinded with that bitter mirage disguising as water for the thirsty.
And I’m pretty sure about half of you has left this article by this time. But if you’re still alive (but badly torn apart), I offer some help that might give you some light.
I’m not here to lecture you (well, the above paragraphs speak for themselves; you decide). I’m here to point you to the direction of the breadcrumbs that lead the way out (or in, depending on which direction you follow).
- Never assume or expect. You would actually be better off if you didn’t even meet the guy. But if you were unfortunate enough to stumble upon the devil, always bear this in mind.
- Ask your friends about it. Be ready: they’ll melt your already shattered heart. But it’s a good idea, actually. Your friends wouldn’t be blinded to whatever you’re seeing. No, they will give you the realistic view and would offer a more personalized advice.
- Don’t always follow your heart. Please people. Don’t add more junk to the River Styx. Your heart tells you what you feel, but your brain is more important. It is the one that tells you what it thinks is right.
- Don’t give in to looks. Another tip connecting to Tip #3. Dude, please, don’t be lusty enough to actually believe that twinkle in his eyes. That seductive twinkle. No, just no.
- Ask yourself. Is this really what you want? Is it natural? Am I giving too much?
These are just some of the advice I can give to people who expected love and found their hearts broken. I’m sorry if I ran over and completely destroyed some of your remaining hopes. But seriously, that is unhealthy. Love is meant to be the sacrifices and compromises made by both parties involved.
Always remember that. And may the odds be ever in your favor.